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Don’t Drink, Don’t Smoke, What Do I Do?

This…is my Swear Jar.

 

I know it’s pretty lame that a 44 year old grown a– adult needs a swear jar {there I go again}. But I do. It’s the one nasty habit that I am trying to break; although I must say that I do come by it rightfully.
When I was growing up we used to joke that sh– wasn’t a swear word in our house. It was just part of mom’s every day language. That morphed to adding in other words, which we would get in trouble for, but always and forever that good old “S” word was free to speak. {I kinda loved that about my mom}.
After I got married and had my first four children it started getting bad. I didn’t want my kids to grow up with a mouth like mine. They knew not to swear {D never swears} and I didn’t want to the be one who had a bad influence on them. Furthermore, it isn’t very cute when when your two year old drops something at church and says, “oh, sh–” {as D turns five shades of red and I look guiltily in the distance as if I didn’t hear}.
That was the last straw, I took and empty jar and told my four children that they were in charge of policing my swearing. They absolutely loved this idea. At first my fine for a swearing was a quarter. They all realized very quickly that this punishment was definitely not enough to stop their mom of her bad habit. The kids told me that the fine needed to be a dollar. I shrugged and said, “what the h-e double toothpicks” and put a dollar in the jar.
The dollar fine cured me half way. See, in my twisted brain I thought that I could afford a dollar a day. Just let me swear once a day {this quitting stuff is harder than I thought} it’s only $30 a month and to me it was worth it! But I have super smart kids and after a few weeks with the dollar fine and me slipping in a swear word a day, they said it was time to increase the amount again.
This time the fine increased to a five dollar bill. Yikes. This is now real. “Game On”, squealed the kids. Those $5.00 fines hurt, just like a punch in the gut, and I did not want to pay up. But each time I said a swear word I would put my head down and add the money to the jar. My rate of swearing went down very quickly. Pretty soon I was only swearing about twice a week.
After a few weeks of no swearing the kids counted the money in the jar. They had together fined me over one hundred dollars. I was cured. I am serious when I say it, I really was cured. The kids had a contest between themselves to win the loot. For them that was more fun than sharing it evenly. Jacob won the jar, it was a huge big deal in our house, and mom being cured of swearing ended up a positive and fun experience.
Fast forward to present time. As bad habits tend to do, this one started creeping back into my life. Very slowly at first, where it was just every now and again, but as of late {I hate to admit} I am swearing several times a day. My four oldest are all grown up but my youngest, Preston, has insisted that I need a swear jar. Before I even made the jar he started policing me. We aren’t doing quarters this time, I’m starting with the dollar fine. So far I owe him five bucks. Wish me luck because I will definitely need it. I’m pretty sure D will not add a line item into our budget called “swearing expense”. I guess it is time for this 44 year old grown adult woman {see that was better} to break this nasty habit once and for all. And so begins my quest to be profanity free.
 xoxo, Amylia

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