0 In Advice/ Family/ Inspiration/ My Family


I missed out on What?

Doug and I when we were obviously missing out on life.
Not long ago while I was helping with an event, a lady just a few years older than I, heard me talking about my children and my grandson’s. She looked up at me, squinting to give me a real good once over, “How old are you anyway?!” I told her “forty-four”, and her reply {in an I’m better than you tone} was, “Oh, I forgot, I decided to have FUN before I got married and had kids.” I was a little taken back at her abruptness, her blatant pass of judgement. The air was thick with the obvious, that I must have been a fool for marrying and having children while I was young. This happens to me all of the time, but usually people only “think” it and don’t “say” it. When my daughter decided to get married young I heard the same remarks from one of my closest friends who has a daughter the same age. “I think it is foolish for these kids to get married so young, they miss out on so much”. Then last summer while visiting my mom we were talking about S and how happy she was when out of nowhere she remarks about her marriage, “I just thought S would have been smarter than that.” {Okay, nerve officially hit, did she really just say that?}
Me while I was single, getting ready to miss out on a whole lot of life.
 My question to everyone with these judgements is MISSING OUT ON WHAT???
I mean, I can name a whole list of things friends of mine did while I was married and they were not. Some slept around, others got drunk, a few got their hearts broken, sometimes they got taken advantage of, others did drugs, some traveled abroad for years and missed the opportunity to marry, some had abortions from unwanted pregnancies, and I will tell you that deep down most of them wished they were married or had that someone special to share life with.
Sure, many of them had a great time being single in college and getting careers, then waiting to marry and have children. And there is nothing wrong with doing life that way. But there is also nothing wrong with doing life the other way either. Let people choose their own path and pass no judgement. What was right for me may not be right for you. Only I can know what is right for me, no one else can receive direct revelation for me and my situation, except ME. Let me own my decisions and pay the price for them, whether they end up being good or bad. Because as it has been said before, “sooner or later we all will sit down to a banquet of consequences.” –-Robert Louis Stevenson
While I was missing out on so much I found myself chained to a life of absolute pain, anguish, and drudgery. {NOT} You see, I was laughing, sharing, and loving every moment of being with this amazing man who decided that he wanted to spend the most dear thing he owned with me, his very life. I was loving every moment of being married to my very best friend. I was having sex, and a lot of it! {haha} I was starting a little family and enjoying every minute of it. I was snuggling a sweet baby while rocking him to sleep. I was going through life, doing hard things, with my sweet husband.
Furthermore, while living this life full of regret and drudgery, {tongue in cheek} I now am nearly an empty nester and have time, money, and means to do a whole lot more than I ever could have done being young and single. And the best thing of all is that I get to do it with the love of my life.

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