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0 In Inspiration/ My Family

Don’t Quit Your Day Dream: My Journey to Blogging

This is me with notes from friends who believe in me & my dream.

March 29, 2009…that was the very first time I ever wrote a blog post. {chatzkichix.blogspot.com} It was a little blog where I began sharing my altered art creations, fashion designs, and stories about my family. It was my dream to begin sharing inspiration. It was what I wanted to do more than anything in the world. However, it would not last long. It was a time for being a wife, a mom, and putting everything else before pursuing my own dreams. It was a time that I didn’t fully believe in myself. A time where I didn’t feel like I was enough. It was a time where I didn’t feel validated to dare do what I loved or dare live my dream. It was a time when I didn’t think that the dream was even remotely possible.

So I went searching for a different purpose, a different way, a different dream. I went to work full time. I loved working with people and was a natural leader. I loved taking the reigns of an office and making it a wonderful place to be. I shaped it into an organized, smoothly functioning and happy place. I loved working with patients and being perhaps the one bright light in their life that day. I was good at what I did and I knew it. But I wasn’t truly happy because I had quit my day dream. My dream was now so far away from me that I could only see it occasionally peek around the corner. I was too afraid to hope, trapped in my current situation, how could I even dare begin the dream again?

But then something happened. In March of 2012 I did something big, something life changing…I was so unhappy that I quit my job. My children needed me home, after working full-time for five years my life was in desperate need of repair. I was run ragged and having given so much of myself that I could hardly function. I started putting me first. I began a blog again titled “I’m Amylia” in May of 2012 and wrote a little article on Becoming Me. I was finding hope again, I was beginning to dream again. During this time I spent two months meditating and reconnecting with myself. You see, I figured out that a better me would make a better wife and a better mom. This blog was different than before. This blog was writing down thoughts and sorting out feelings, coming to terms with things in my life. I was on a journey to heal and this was my path.

While I was on that journey I was inspired to begin yet another blog, the one that you are reading right now. So in January of 2013 I began–writing my first post which was a tribute to my grandmother Mary who had passed. The question this time was could I believe in myself? Again, this was a time to be a mom, a time to sacrifice for the greater good, my children. A time to be a wife and do everything else that life will stick in the way of living one’s dreams.

So the blog sat, hardly being used, and it waited. But this time as it waited I discovered a few things. I realized that I can live my dream and be a good wife and mom. In fact, it makes me a better wife and mom because I am so much happier. I realized that my husband believes in me. I realized that my daughter believes in me. And that has made a huge difference, it has given me that extra push that I needed to actually believe in myself again. Once I started believing in myself and by this I mean REALLY BELIEVING it was a game changer.

Now instead of the dream hiding around the corner I can see it right in front of me. I can literally reach out and grab it each time that I write a post. I am living the reality of that dream and it feels oh so good. It certainly has not been easy and writing a blog, setting up a website, and everything that comes with it takes a lot of time. There are certainly those people who cheer me on and those who do not. There are those who will hate what I write and those who love what I write. There are friends and family who will never fully understand why I do what I do. But the sacrifices seem small to me because I am, for the first time in years, loving every minute of my life.

Right now, almost exactly seven years after my first blog post, I find myself finally {each and every day} living my dream. I find myself grateful for the beautiful life I have. I find myself dancing around like a little school girl. I find myself knowing what a good mom I am. I find my son telling me how much he loves me and how fun I am. I find myself the happiest I have ever been in my marriage. I find myself being an amazing wife. I find myself feeling validated and knowing that I am enough. Most importantly, I find that I believe in myself. And furthermore, I find myself knowing that I will never, ever, EVER, quit my day dream again.

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