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Letter to my Three Grown Boys: What I Would Do Different

letter to my three grown boys

Dear Boys,

If I could go back to when you were younger I would teach you differently. While on my own journey the past few years I now view the world with a different level of understanding. You see, I was raised old school and I raised you the same, but the world has opened up to me and my perspective has changed. What I didn’t realize then is that the most important journey that you will ever take is the path of your heart.
The world says that you should go to school, get your education, and then earn your way into a high paying and successful career. That is what we did…it is what society has said for years that we all have to do to be successful, but often the price paid is that of an unfulfilled life. What I’d go back and tell you is to decide what it is that you love to do, what really makes you happy, and figure out a way that you can make money doing it. I’d give you positive motivation and facilitate every opportunity to “do” that “thing” that brings you happiness until you become one of the best at it. I’d remind you to be true to yourself and follow your own path, because your path may not look like anyone else’s, and that is okay.
I’d tell you to be happy NOW. Not to wait for, “I’ll be happy when…” I’d remind you that one key to happiness is to make other people happy and to give service. I’d tell you that if you aren’t happy today then to change your mind and tell yourself that you will be happy tomorrow. Make it happen, get out of the spiral of unhappiness, and live with positive intention. Because if you keep living and doing the same things that you are doing now then you will only produce more of the same tomorrow.
If you don’t know what it is that you want to do I’d ask you “How do you want to spend your day or what would you do for free?” and then help you find a career to match that. I’d ask “What do you really want and why do you want it?” Because I have learned that clarity is power. The bigger the WHY the easier the HOW will become. Your why will push and motivate you and lead you into a pathway to achieving it. I’d have you shout out to the universe specifically what it is that you want. I’d have you say it in your prayers and ask for inspiration and a way to open up which will lead you directly to it.
I’d help you come up with a new strategy. I wouldn’t let you become your biggest road block by saying “I can’t” or throwing every other excuse in the way. Because questions and doubts are reasons why not to do it. I’d encourage you to understand yourself. I’d teach you to hold yourself accountable but also to be forgiving of any past mistakes and to love yourself. I’d tell you that the reasons that you don’t have it now are the same reasons that you might never have it. I’d try to convince you to change your way of thinking.
I’d teach you to be positive, to be grateful and to believe in yourself. I’d try to eliminate any negative music or television programing from your life. I would plug your ears for you when the world told you weren’t good enough, because it is a lie. I’d remind you to be grateful for your life and I’d gently persuade you to write down three things that you are grateful for each and every day so you could learn that gratitude is the key to success. I’d tell you that you are enough and you can do anything which you put your mind to doing. I’d make sure you know that it is never, ever, too late to change your path and start living your dream. I’d encourage you to even take the smallest step towards that dream today.
I would ask you to forgive me for my shortcomings as a mother. I’d explain to you that I am only human and did the best that I knew how to do. I’d tell you that I am learning too, that we are all learning and growing together in this world. I’d let you know how grateful I am that Heavenly Father entrusted me with raising you, that He gave me the gift of being your mother. That being your mom was living my dream and you made that dream happen. Most importantly I’d tell you to love yourself as much as I love you {and that is more than you could ever imagine}.
Love, Mom
My oldest boy, first gift & blessing.
My second sweet boy & blessing.
My third precious boy & blessing.

Join me as I write a series of articles on “Midnight Mommy Confessions” in regards to raising my five children. As a well-intentioned mommy who loves her children more than anything in the world, I’ve learned and recognized that if I could do it over I would do a lot of things differently. Besides, you know what they say, Parenthood is the scariest hood you’ll ever go through. We need help foraging through this demanding and overwhelming century to find the best way to raise independent and successful children. I know, first hand, that even the best of intentions can be closed-minded and inhibiting. I ask you to open up your hearts and minds to seeing things a bit differently. xoxo

Articles in this series:
Midnight Mommy Confessions: Smaller House = Bigger Life

Midnight Mommy Confessions: Helping = Hindering

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