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Ninety-nine Things To Do and the Most Important on the List was ME

Some mornings I look in the mirror and want to go back to bed. Today was one of those days. My to do list is ninety-nine lines long but bed still calls my name. The struggle is real; there’s nowhere I NEED to be but a mountain of things that should be done. “What HAS to be done?” I asked myself, silently pleading for more sleep. After expelling a seemingly exhausting amount of energy paying the utility bills, {while sitting in bed leaning against my pillow} I gave in and let myself fall back to sleep.

I can really be hard on myself. If I don’t accomplish several things on my list each day I feel like a failure. Then there is the Ideal Protein diet I have been on and haven’t been loosing weight as fast as I would like. Add having to be on steroids for a month and how they have blown up my face twice its normal size. Finally, top it off with the fact that my daughter took some pictures of me two weeks ago and I’ve decided I hate the way I look and I want my long hair back. You may laugh, and I know I will tomorrow, but today it was a lot.

I woke up and ate brunch. Feelings of “I better get doing this and I’ve got to start that project” started overwhelming me. I was still tired, oh so tired. The past five days have left me exhausted and sleep deprived. “But I can’t just be in bed all day!” I told myself. “It is ridiculous for a grown woman to spend the day in bed. I’m better than this…I need to start making the rest of those centerpieces for Women’s conference. I should sit and sand the 27 wooden trucks I made. I need to run errands and make phone calls.”

That was when a voice of peace, a voice of reason, impressed me with a message.

Allow yourself to be where you are.

As soon as the thought entered my mind the stress dissipated and rolled off my shoulders. I instantly felt lighter. I knew it was okay to feel tired today. It was okay to be plus size. It was okay my pictures didn’t turn out the way I wanted. It was okay to let my list wait. Most importantly, it was okay to live in the moment and to allow myself to nap.

I went back in my room and quickly fell back to sleep. And guess what? My world did not fall apart, in fact, it came together. I felt great. It was wonderful. I got to spent the day in bed, how cool is that? Seriously, I must be the luckiest girl in the world. Ninety-nine things to do and it turned out that the most important on the list was ME.

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