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It’s My Birthday and I’ll Cry if I Want to

Well, it has finally happened, I am officially 45 today. It must be a right of passage or something to get all misty eyed and cry about everything. I generally do not cry easily, so please excuse me if I have to wipe away some tears. If you see me all puffy and red-eyed this is why…

I had a flashback of when I was a young girl sitting in class figuring out what year I would be forty-five. Because, you know, forty-five year olds are sooo old and basically half of their life is over. I thought about how I would look and I am pretty sure it was something like Dustin Hoffman in Tootsie.

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I do not look like Tootsie, however, it may just be worse. I have a “winning” double chin, sagging, cellulite, and I’m starting to grey. I’m grateful I’ve made it this far but I am pretty sure “Sexy Beast” could summarize my look. {Thanks for texting me this Rachel, it was fitting, besides I love this guy}.

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D, who is never openly sentimental, posted a sweet and sappy birthday wish for me on Facebook. {I teased that he copied and pasted it from thesaurus.com}. Regardless, it made my heart swell because he loved me enough to do it. Then he changed his profile picture to us, you know, way back before we hit mid-life crisis.

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My daughter woke up early and took her brother to school for me and then treated me to breakfast. During our visit gratitude filled my heart as I realized how lucky I was to sit across the table from her, to be her mother, and to be her friend.

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When I was driving Rick Springfield’s “Jesse’s Girl” began playing and I couldn’t resist turning it up to jam. I remember attending his concert and having a crush on him; thinking it would be cool to date a guy named Jesse. I’ve still never met one {not sure if one exists}. That seems like a lifetime ago.

I received the most adorable video message recorded of my grandson Miles saying, “Happy Birthday Grandma!” My heart was ripped open because I do not have the honor of living close to him or my other grandson James. I love those two little boys so much!

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During the day I heard from my three oldest boys, who each sent birthday wishes through text messages while at work. My heart filled with nostalgia of when we were all under the same roof and how much I loved raising them. I also heard from wives and girlfriends, it was so touching.

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I opened up my Face Book app and saw posts from family, childhood friends, and new friends; all wishing me a Happy Birthday. My heart was filled with joy, love, and gratitude for each person. Every message was like opening a gift and my heart began to over-flow. My thoughts turned to the fact that I am incredibly blessed and that no amount of money could ever buy such happiness. Each person I know has contributed in a beautiful way to my life and for that I am eternally grateful.

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One of my Besties surprised me with a huge balloon bouquet, flowers, and gift. It was so unexpected and extremely kind.

I’m grateful for the opportunity to make new friends where ever I go. Tomorrow I am meeting 18 of my Texas friends at a movie to celebrate me being FORTY-FIVE. And that makes me cry, not the 45 part, but that 18 friends would take a night off to go to the movies with me.

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My daughter and I drove to uptown Dallas and we had Sprinkles together. She bought me my first Kendra Scott necklace. I feel pretty spoiled rotten at this point {while tears start to surface}.

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I was able to Face Time Jordan, Ashley and little Miles. My heart grew ten sizes tonight seeing this sweet little boy.

 

D played our favorite songs while Face Timing {from when we were dating and first married}. A walk down memory lane and the perfect way to end the evening.

 

As I write this post tears of gratitude for such amazing people in my life run down my face. At one point Preston looked at me and said, “Are you crying mom? Why are you sad?” My response was simply,

“It’s my Birthday and I’ll cry if I want to…

and

You’d cry too if it happened to you.”


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