There has been a lot of buzz around social media about narcissism. It seems that if someone is happy, doing what they love, and posting accomplishments, they are immediately judged and put into this category. I don’t buy it.
First of all, narcissism comes from a place of fear and not loving yourself enough. It is jealousy driven. That is the exact opposite of self-love. The unfortunate truth is that self-love is not a popular notion for an adult to have.
I am sure we can all agree that this adorable little girl is not narcissistic. This is self-love. This video encompasses the true joy and happiness that loving ones self and ones life brings.
But then there are things floating around like this…which are nonsense.
If we really love ourselves everything in our life works. ~Louise L. Hay
When we are born we come with self-love built in. We trust, we love unconditionally, and we don’t care what people think of us. We smile and we play without care. In fact, we are pretty fearless. But then something happens as we get older. Unfortunately we begin to take on the attributes of those around us. We learn to fear, to feel unworthy, and to doubt. We learn to care what people think about us. Somewhere along the way we forget how to love ourselves.
As we become adults we tend to care so much what others think of us that we make important decisions because of these false beliefs. We find ourselves feeling that we aren’t good enough to do what we really want to do. But then one day we start to realize that we are miserable and something has to change if we ever want to find happiness. The change that needs to be made and the power to do it is within all of us. But it cannot be accomplished without first loving ourselves.
Love yourself, because it is the holy grail of happiness. ~Jen Sincero
So we begin our journey into this seemingly unknown territory of self-love. We recite carefully written affirmations, we painstakingly journal our deepest and ugliest thoughts to set them free, never to be thought again. We go to yoga, we meditate, we start doing things that we love, we make choices that make us happy, we start connecting once again with our inner true self that has been covered up and smothered with self-doubt. We stop believing the lies that have been spoon fed to us by society.
At first we feel like we are lying to ourselves because these affirmations are kinda odd sounding when they are said. But then realize that thinking this way is a lie. The fact is that the affirmations are the truth. It is what we knew in the very beginning, when we were just starting out. Just as the little girl in the video shouts into the mirror her truth. Our affirmations are no less our truth.
Over time, it may be weeks or years, something miraculous begins to happen. We actually begin to love ourselves again. We find ourselves with courage to move forward into dreams that haven’t been lived. We are so happy and this brings us so much joy that we want to share it with those and help to elevate them to a new level. This not conceit. This is not narcissism. This is something beautiful and pure. Something that took a journey of years to arrive back to. This is something we all deserve to have and share with one another without fear of jealousy, finger-pointing or snarky comments. Because self-love is the key which unlocks happiness. It is the very reason that I love me and you should love you.
For more on this subject read Overexposed.