“I’ll be happy when” is a little story that I put on my Instagram @quitecontemporary last week. Being a type A personality, I hold myself to a very high expectation in all areas. This can cause extreme anxiety and a feeling that I can’t enjoy life or be happy until things on my check list are completed. What is even worse–that I don’t deserve happiness until everything is finished.
I am learning that for me, perhaps writing down goals is NOT the solution. But perhaps, just moving each day in the right direction to where I want to be is the answer. Setting up a system of what to do each day rather than huge goals which seem so overwhelming and out of reach. It is these goals which can leave me crippled–sometimes unable to be productive. I mean, I know what I want and it is on my vision board and in my mind’s eye. I meditate about it and the universe always opens a way. Why do I need to now write down a check list and time line of crazy self-imposed and demanding deadlines to mark off my list each day?
This takes the fun out of life.
However, when I set a system up of things I love to do, this instead positively pushes me forward. It is when in this momentum moving in the right direction when I feel freedom. Freedom from the bonds of “I have to do this today because it has to be done by this time”. I now find that I take time to be more intuitive, yet continue to be intentional in the direction I am going. If I need a day to clean the house then I take it without guilt or stress. If a neighbor is in need of dinner I can bring it in at a days notice. This way of living opens up a certain spontaneity for me to be a better person.
Which leads me to another realization. I find that a well-organized and well-kept house is the mother of all things productive. It is productivity at its finest. I can breathe better, sleep better, heck–I even eat better. I prepare healthy fresh foods in a clean kitchen and I don’t in a messy one. I dress nicer when my closet is organized and I will keep the house cleaner after it is cleaned.
Because I can think better in a clean home, I write more efficiently. For me, the house being clean is the basic fundamental start to me getting anything accomplished. Which leads me to yet another realization–why I love small homes.
Big, large, booming homes are overwhelming. They spread families apart instead of promoting togetherness. They are exponentially harder to keep clean. They take more money to furnish and decorate. More money to keep running. Money that I would rather do something fun with than warming and cooling rooms in a huge house I never get the chance to go inside of. What is the point if I can’t enjoy it? Why have it?
Which leads yet to another realization. Why I love less. Why I have begun embracing minimalism. It is like living on a vacation. In a condo or beautiful rental home. No clutter and only what one needs, freeing up time to do things that matter. Time for family, for meaningful conversation, and for gratitude.
Feeling gratitude every day for even the simple beauty of a white billowing cloud in the sky can be life-changing. Saying out loud what you are grateful for removes negativity in one fail swoop. Telling people how grateful for them you are — even if it is the UPS man– is a wonderful thing.
Simply put, gratitude unlocks the door to HAPPINESS. And that, my friends, puts the fun back into LIFE.
I’ll Be Happy When…
I woke up this morning unrefreshed from the 3:30 am insomnia attack that so lovingly has decided to visit me each night and found myself thinking “I’ll be happy when”…
When the dismal brain fog clears and being tired turns into abundant energy. I realized that may not happen today, so instead I’ll be happy when…
I’ve taken an hour to exercise. That ought to do the trick. It’s called putting yourself first, right? Or today, in my vocabulary, it’s called getting an even later start, when I’m already so far behind.
So the happiness must come after the shower, the bed is made, and the clothes are put away. But then I’ve got to do my hair and put some makeup on too. Then I will be happy…
But wait. The kitchen is a mess. I certainly cannot be happy with the kitchen a mess…
Once the kitchen is clean I have to finish our corporate taxes. Which are due–next week. Will I be happy then?
No, I simply cannot be happy then because there are bills that need paid and work to get done in order to pay them. There’s a never-ending stream of obligations, deadlines, and exhausting life occurrences…
My life has become filled with all these things that need to be done which are leaving me little time to be happy. So maybe by Christmas I can be happy? Yes. I’ve decided. Christmas it is.
But wait. Christmas is months away. I want to be happy today. Now. In this very moment–with all of these very important things that have to be done. But how?
I thought about these things pressing on me and was reminded of the beautiful life I have, the abundance of goodness that each day I am blessed with, and suddenly I knew how…
with gratitude! For my life, to be alive to have sleepless nights, to have a beautiful kitchen to clean, a job to earn income, and yes–even to pay taxes.
Gratitude that I can make the choice to slow down when I have anxiety or am overwhelmed. Gratitude that despite all reasoning or life occurrences, that I have the power within me to do anything…
and TODAY, over anything that could be chosen, accomplished, or checked off the list…That I decided its as more important to be happy. And guess what??
That makes me HAPPY.